a little bit of nostalgia

christmas is 6 days away. for the last week or so i have been a real grinch. i was frustrated with shopping and the crowds of people, but now that i have finished all my shopping, i am ready to enjoy christmas. i will be baking up a storm on sunday. hopefully trying to make ninja bread men and loaves of banana bread for friends. my gramma great used to make everyone a loaf for christmas, and i miss that tradition. i’ve really been missing her alot lately

the other night i had a dream about her. [and might i add, waking up to biggie’s “it was all a dream” for my alarm was kind of neat]. we were sitting at the picnic table on the screened in back porch at the cortland house. it was summer time and i could almost feel the warm breeze. we sat there talking about life and played a game of cards and drank beer. my great grampa wayne stood in the driveway in his work pants and a polo with a wrench in hand, and greased up fingertips.  i didnt talk to my grampa great in the dream, i just sat at the table drinking beer with gramma great. i wish grampa wayne was around when i had turned 21. he is a man i would have liked to sit down and have a beer with. an old style, of course.  it was a wierd dream for me, because my gramma great always told me, ladies don’t drink beer.  i could envision her breaking the rule every once in a while, i guess.  i’ve always been very fond of my great grandparents. more so than my grandparents. i love my grandparents very much and am close with them as well, but i think because i spent such a great amount of my childhood at their home in cortland, i sort of was much closer to them. and because our grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and  relative i have spent all their time at the house in cortland as well. they were the hub. we all came together there. i loved that about my family. i think that this is why i am so close to most of my relatives. even my 2nd and 3rd cousins. we all gathered at the same home quite often for dinners, picnics and holidays. and man there are a ton of us. i will always love having such a large family. after grampa wayne passed, the house and the land was too much for my gramma great to take care of, so she sold it and moved to dekalb. i see that the house is for sale. the previous owners pretty much ruined the home structurally, but if i ever have the ability to, i would purchase that house. it holds so many memories to each person in my family. my grampa great built that house in 1963. his sweat lies within every inch of that home. there is also a house in rochelle on 14th street that my grampa built. just a tiny little yellow home near the cemetary where he is buried. i would like to see the inside of that place. my gramma great used to speak of it whenever we took car rides out there. we would drive by the house to look at it, and see what new thing they may have done to the outside. the first thing my grampa wayne built was the garage before starting on the house. it didn’t surprise me when gramma great told me this. my grampas second love was cars. his first was my gramma great.  his third was old style, and his fourth was the leather recliner, which not a single other soul would be allowed to sit in. [even after his death, every one of us was too scared to sit in that chair for fear he’d come back from the dead, grab us by our collar, yank us up from the chair and yell, “get your ass outta my seat!”]

i hope one day i will find a love like theirs. when my grampa wayne first met my gramma great, he saw her walking down the street and he drove his astin martin up next to her and asked her out. she refused and kept walking, but wayne dewar morris was persistent.

 “whaddya say, toughie? go out with me.”

she eventually caved in and agreed to one date. that led to a life of 3 children, 11 grandchildren [+ spouses] and 19 great grandchildren [+spouses]. he had always called her toughie, because she was a “tough independent woman who didn’t need no help from anybody.”  i like to think im a little like toughie.

this quality sometimes bothered grampa wayne, like when she saved enough money on her own to buy a brand new buick without his help, approval, or knowledge. but its also what he loved most. i consider them to have the greatest love story of all. i dont care about fairy tale loves or anything of that sort. i care about the real love i experienced from growing up with my great grandparents.

it was a bit strange because i don’t think i had ever seen my grandparents kiss each other. usually my gramma great was in the kitchen or in the house with us, and grampa wayne was under the hood of a car in the garage.  but there was one moment i remember catching a glimpse of them in an embrace. i had seen them next to the kitchen sink.  it was the only time i think i saw any sort of physical contact between the two, but you could tell there was a strong bond. even after 50+ years.  even during the time shortly before my gramma great’s passing, she would call out for wayne dewar in her sleep.

once my gramma great had told my sister to wait until she is at least 30 before getting hitched. when i asked her why, she said, “because i never got to experience as much as i should have on my own. your grampa wayne’s love snuck up on me, and then i never wanted to be without him by my side.”  i think thats pretty bittersweet. sad for her youth, but glad for his love. i think that is what will need to happen. love will have to attack me, because i try to ward it off whenever i can. i have too much to do and so much to see. 

well i suppose that is enough sap for today. i love you gramma great. i love you grampa wayne. i will be thinking about you when i make banana bread. a little piece of you will be in every loaf.  [figuratively speaking, of course. haha]

cheers and happy christmas! [or whatever holiday you celebrate or don’t celebrate]

p.s. and yes, i realize “grampa” and “gramma” are spelled incorrectly,  but that is how they signed their names. thats just how it is spelled in my family, and they will always be written in that form whenever speaking of wayne and willmetta morris.

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~ by catlady1027meow on December 19, 2009.

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