beyond creepy.

i can’t escape this song.

there is a story behind it.  i met sam when i was 20. he was an amazing, dark poet. he was truly an interesting individual, and hung out with some wild crowds.  i met alot of new age hippies, drug addicts, and sociopaths that year. sam was a very loving person, but he had problems. alot of them. drugs, alcohol, suicidal thoughts. his life was the exact cliché imagined for a dark poet. for a long time i remained friends with sam, mostly because i felt like i couldn’t let an individual like that be alone with his dark thoughts. anyways, i remained good friends with sam for a while, and then i realized he was sort of a lost cause. you can’t help a person who wont change. we hadn’t talked in over a year. he left to travel across the country and that was the last i had heard from him in a while. he returned 2 years ago and i saw him wandering through downtown. he looked healthy and happy. we spoke for a bit over coffee at our old stomping grounds, the house cafe. after a full report of his life and travels over the past year, i thought perhaps he had changed, but soon came to realize he was still the same old sam. i missed the days of hanging out in his apartment. cooking dinner, watching old episodes of mr. show and listening to music. one song in particular was sam’s favorite. pale blue eyes. last year, 2 days before my birthday, i found out that sam had overdosed on heroin and passed away.  i had seen sam the very night he overdosed. it was a chance encounter at otto’s. we made small talk, and i invited him out for my birthday. it was the sort of passing conversation you have with friends who have become acquaintances. “hello, how are you, what are you up to these days? we should hang out.”  i still think about that night, and how  much i cannot believe that that moment and conversation would be the last time i ever encountered sam. i could not believe it when nate and joe told me the news. it didn’t seem possible. i had just seen him the night before.  my memory returns to that chance encounter at ottos every time i hear that song.  it is on every single mixed tape/cd he gave me. i listened to those cds sort of as a tribute when he passed. lately i have been hearing that song alot. i found the cds again when i was digging through tupperware boxes in the basement and i immediately played one. since then i have heard  it on my sirius radio station, it keeps appearing on my ipod when i am working at the painting studio or at the rec center, it comes up on my pandora, and now a friend posted it in a google wave.  i cant seem to escape it. the last 2 weeks i have run into so many instances where this song is playing. i don’t know what or why this coincidentally happens, but im starting to freak out. why is it i am so reminded of sam lately? maybe it was the recent trips out to russell’s woods, or stopping in to the house cafe. either way, this song is haunting me. perhaps in a good way, but most certainly creepy.

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~ by catlady1027meow on November 25, 2009.

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